I knew the big ones: No smoking, no alcohol, no drugs, not too much caffeine and take a prenatal vitamin before getting pregnant. But there’s so many other things I wish someone would have told me before ever getting injected with a kid. … More The realness is real: 8.5 things you should do before getting knocked up
I’ll admit that I grope myself a lot these days. Sometimes, I just rest my hands on my boobs because they feel so squishy. … More In which I talk about my funbags.
Ya’ll should stop telling pregnant women (and non-pregnant women) what is and isn’t normal and how they should or shouldn’t be. Just stop it. Stop it now. … More I started a pregnancy blog.
“I don’t think we’re gonna have to buy any bottles … there’s so many in here. And I think there’s pacifiers. And … I don’t even know what half of this shit is.” … More There’s so much baby … stuff …
And I don’t know why this is. And I don’t really care. It’s one of the visually good things happening to my body right now, so … YAY. … More A really awesome pregnancy side effect.
I even did the “rubbing the uterus while walking” thing, because it actually feels like my abdominal muscles are ripping apart at the seams. … More Now my uterus is the one Hulking out.
“Did I just fart on accident? OMG, did my officemate notice? Whew, it doesn’t smell.” … More Random thoughts running through the pregnant chick’s head.
I’ve been dealing with “acid reflux” too, which, I mean … if I’m being honest … is just threatened puke. … More Do I have to feel all the feels? Really?
You don’t have to love pregnancy. Or other peoples’ babies. Or baby clothes or toys or even putting together the nursery. And fuck anyone who says you do have to love all those things. … More The realness explodes out my fingertips.
I was literally just sitting here in bed and the room was almost spinning, yanno, like those beer spins you get in your 20s. … More I don’t want to refer to my kid as something I like to eat.
TRUTH IN PREGNANCY + PARENTHOOD 