I fantasize about sitting there at my desk at work just scratching my nipple all day long. This is how I imagine a dog with a cone around its head feels like. … More Itchy, Scratchy, Poopy, Stretchy: This is pregnancy.
“What the hell are you doing in there?! No raves until you’re 21!” … More Week 25 of “Holy shit, I’m pregnant!”
Sometimes I look down, expecting to see my belly move in some creepy Alien-esque way … More OK, I’ll admit: My son does feel like inside farts.
Without getting into too much “eww! gross! women’s bodies!” detail … … More Week 19 roundup of legit weird pregnancy stuff
It’s the equivalent of saying something “tastes like shit.” Unless you’ve actually eaten shit before — and hopefully you haven’t — you don’t actually know what shit tastes like, so it’s not an apt description what-so-ever. … More My baby does not feel like “butterfly wings” and here’s why
My butt, also, likes to fall asleep in my office chair. … More The one thing about being pregnant that is universally fantastic
He routinely tells me how sorry he is that I have to be the one to go through this, and that if he could, he would do it instead … More The importance of having a supportive partner during pregnancy (and life).
… The other half of me wants to duct tape those people’s mouths shut and tell them that if they utter one more word of pregnancy rainbows and unicorns, I’m going to start lighting fires. … More Coming to terms with pregnancy and woe, and the woe of pregnancy.
Ya’ll should stop telling pregnant women (and non-pregnant women) what is and isn’t normal and how they should or shouldn’t be. Just stop it. Stop it now. … More I started a pregnancy blog.
TRUTH IN PREGNANCY + PARENTHOOD 