I accidentally woke him up around 3 a.m. because I was crying so intensely, because my arms ached so intensely. … More I’m not handling pregnancy the way I thought I would.
I have three words for you: Free baby shit. And how to get it. … More Babies = stuff. Babies also = expensive as fuck. I = cheap.
I freak out at the thought of having such a short stretch of time to get used to momming and being with my son, let alone recovering from the act of creating a human and the trauma of pushing it out of my body. … More My thoughts on working moms are dark and full of terrors
It’s the equivalent of saying something “tastes like shit.” Unless you’ve actually eaten shit before — and hopefully you haven’t — you don’t actually know what shit tastes like, so it’s not an apt description what-so-ever. … More My baby does not feel like “butterfly wings” and here’s why
My butt, also, likes to fall asleep in my office chair. … More The one thing about being pregnant that is universally fantastic
He routinely tells me how sorry he is that I have to be the one to go through this, and that if he could, he would do it instead … More The importance of having a supportive partner during pregnancy (and life).
It is the one, single thing I regret most at this point. … More I need to talk about second trimester pain (and how to NOT suffer from it)
The Pregnancy Brain, Pregnancy Poop and Pregnancy Dream struggles are real. … More In which I make uncomfortable predictions for my son’s future poops.
… The other half of me wants to duct tape those people’s mouths shut and tell them that if they utter one more word of pregnancy rainbows and unicorns, I’m going to start lighting fires. … More Coming to terms with pregnancy and woe, and the woe of pregnancy.
I’m convinced people only name their kids those things because they never wanted kids in the first place and naming their kid something stupid is their universal way of sticking it to the kid for even existing. Like, “Fjewl Diamondy Smithfucker.” That’s not a fucking name, man. That’s not a fucking anything. … More That’s it! I’m naming him “Stupid-name-hotep-en.”
TRUTH IN PREGNANCY + PARENTHOOD 