My baby does not feel like “butterfly wings” and here’s why

16.5 (almost 17) weeks pregnant:

I’m pretty sure I’ve been feeling the seamonkey move. And by the way, my husband finally settled on a name from our list of four finalists, so from here on out, the little seamonkey will be referred to as Judah!

Back when I was 13 weeks pregnant, during one Saturday morning of lazying around in bed, I was pretty sure I was feeling him move all about, but some people were like, “No! It’s too early! It’s gas!” Well, for one, at 31 years old, I know what the hell gas feels like, thank-you-very-much (and also, there were no farts that occurred after feeling those wee feelings). But, what’s more! For the past four days I’ve been feeling those exact same feelings again. And I’m about ready to call it: I’m about 90% sure it’s Judah doing some wombnastics.

When you’ve never been pregnant before, it’s really hard to know for sure when you start feeling your kid move around. My midwife has described it as “butterfly wings” and so has just about every other online resource. But, you see, I take great issue with the description of “butterfly wings” because, one: Most people have never felt actual butterfly wings touch their skin, so they wouldn’t understand that description to begin with, and two: NOBODY (hopefully) has ever felt actual butterfly wings inside of their body before, so no one would ever know what that really feels like, either.

It’s the equivalent of saying something “tastes like shit.” Unless you’ve actually eaten shit before — and hopefully you haven’t — you don’t actually know what shit tastes like, so it’s not an apt description what-so-ever.

And yes, I’m a stickler for language. Unapologetically.

I wouldn’t describe what I’ve been feeling, “Quickening” as its called, as butterfly wings. It’s sort of been a cross between someone tickling me with a feather from the inside and … something completely indescribable. What made me realize it was probably Judah moving around is the fact that it’s a feeling I’ve never had before, ever, and is nearly impossible to describe, which logic would dictate means it is caused by something I’ve never experienced before, i.e., pregnancy … i.e., a tiny human bean swimming around in my innards.

He swims around more in the mornings during/after finishing my cup of coffee. This makes sense, especially after reading about it online (I read that a spike in sugar after eating/adrenaline/caffeine can make the baby more active, because obviously). I’ve also noticed him when I wake up in the middle of the night or am simply laying in bed. It’s ALMOST like being tickled from the inside. But not quite.

And, I’m not sure if he loves my drives to work or if he hates them, but one or the other, he moves around a lot on my drive to work, particularly during the third of my drive when I’m bouncing around the dirt roads in my neighborhood, which is basically like off-roading every morning. (And yes, I live so far into the woods that I drive through a maze of dirt roads to get to civilization.)

So, naysayers — you can, in fact, feel your baby move around at 13 weeks pregnant, even if it’s your first pregnancy. It might not be common, but it IS possible. And I wouldn’t be surprised if my profound petiteness had something to do with it.